Boundaries

You know, sometimes being a stay at home mom really sucks.  I'm not talking about the social isolation, or the poopy diapers, or the lack of a paycheck.  Those things are bothersome but being at home with my kids is rewarding in other ways and it all works out.  The part that really puts my panties in a bunch is something else - the lack of respect by people that earn a paycheck.

This shows up in a lot of ways, and I'm not going to list all of them here.   One, it would be a more depressing blog than it already is.  Two, I don't have time to type it all out, I have laundry to fold.  But here's the scoop - I am not able to meet/do something for you/jump at your command.  Not for family, not the school, not the church, not doctor's offices, etc.  I have a job.  And while that job doesn't have a paystub, it is still a job.  A job that I take seriously.  You wouldn't expect me to drop everything and come running if I earned a wage.  What's the difference?

You should probably know something about me:  I am really good at setting boundaries.  I've had a lot of practice.  Furthermore I'm stubborn as hell.  If you demand from me, I will sit quietly and look at you like you've grown a third eye.  No arguments, no fuss.  I will tell you that won't work for me, and give you no excuses.  No is a one word sentence.  I know this for a fact - I have a two year old. 

Just be respectful of your fellow humans.  Trust that they are doing good for humanity, as much as you are and maybe a bit more.  Realize that their needs, time, and self-respect are important.

And use your manners, Mama said. 

Bridesmaids

I haven't written about the (gazillion) movies we watch around here.  Ok, so sometimes we only watch 15 minutes of the movie, but I only write about movies I've seen all the way through.

So, here it goes: Bridesmaids.

I was expecting some sort of sassy, slightly annoying movie about how wonderful women are together.  Which, let's face it, is often fictional.  But I loved that there was a woman stealing the thunder and running the whole thing.  I identified with the jealousy.  And I found this movie both entertaining and something I could see myself in.  Well done, (probably) male white writers, well done.

Would I purchase this movie?  Nope.  Would I keep it if given to me?  Probably.  Would I seek it out to watch it with my best girlfriends?  Absolutely.  The fact that one character reminded me of a friend makes it that much more necessary to watch it with others.

You know, the best part about this movie is that I saw it with one of my favorite people.  She and I haven't been to a movie sans kids, and while I like Megamind, I really like a grown up movie.  Huzzah for Girl's Night Out!

3 solid stars

P.S.  Don't stick around for the scene after the credits.  Trust me.  I'm still in therapy for that one.

Everyday is exactly the same

except when it isn't.

I often wondered what stay at home moms did during the day. I can't still exactly tell you, but I can tell you it is a lot of hard work. The time I'm not "doing something" I'm trying to stay sane and talk to adults. You know the drill, right? It is all fine and dandy until momma needs to lock herself in the bathroom for a bit.

Still, we've got a routine:
6:30 - I'm up
6:30-7:00 - I'm attempting to wake up David
7:05 - I threaten to push him out of the bed, he gets up
7:06 - Sebastian wakes up and yells "IT IS MORNING BABY!" - to Karma
7:07 - 7:30 - We argue and force Sebastian to get ready for school
7:30 - 11:00 - Periodic feeding of the Karma, cleaning up her messes, and entertaining
11:00 - Feed the Karma officially
12:00 - Karma naps - I struggle to regain use of my brain.
2:00 - Wake up Karma, get off to get Sebastian from school
3:00 - 5:30 - Survive with both kids. I often say "Don't lay on your sister". Periodic feeding.
5:30 - Start supper, continued "Don't lay on your sister"
6:30-7:15 - Supper consumption
7:30 - 8:15 - Bedtime
8:15 - 11:00 - Housework, sanity exercises.

It is a good life. It is also a crazy life.

My expectations

My goal is to blog every day. Of course, the only person who I know reads it often is Austin, with whom I talk to frequently anyhow. But what if someone WANTS to read it? I must be diligent.

I took my oldest to the doctor today. Things went fine, he has allergies and can't hear, but that is nothing new. I thought we had made it without too much dramatics until The Dreaded Blood Draw. Now, does he get upset because it will hurt? Nope. Scared? Nope. It is the blood that helps him play video games. Without those few drops of blood he is nothing. Tragic.

Luckily he has had some food, some milk, and is training his new blood on fine, skilled video game playing. Saved until another day.

Vacation

I just got back from visiting with my family. I have decided on certain requirements for any future vacation.

1. Both David and I will be in attendance
2. We will plan social/fun activities each day, even if it is just a trip to a park.
3. Each child will be able to have something fun for them during the trip, with everyone else going along and having a good time.
4. I will not drive.
5. God willing, we will not have french fries for every meal.
   
6. We will clean out the car thoroughly before and after each trip.

I'm so very glad to be home.

Playdates

I've decided there are two kinds of playdates. There are the forced, you will play together or else playdates in which the parents have decided the children WILL get along and will like it. Those playdates are stressful, Sebastian typically acts up, Karma is tired, and I just want to leave. Amazingly, you can't make kids like each other. Huh. (Please apply all necessary sarcasm)

The other playdates happen when the parents are relaxed. The parents talk, and parent too, but let the kids figure out what they want to play and with whom. Nobody forces a child to play with another child. The kids are left to figure out social graces (with some guidance as needed) and everyone has a good time.

I wonder why people don't understand this. You can't make an adult like someone and *want* to be around them...how can you expect that from a kid?

Medicine messes with your head

Hello, dear reader(s)? I hope you're doing well.

I've been on hiatus while recovering from yet another set back in The Great Hip Adventure. But after three months of crutches and two months of my brother living here, I'm back in business. Or at least I'm able to exist without heavy-duty pain pills. It is good to be able to think and feel again. I'm quite enjoying it.

I've learned in this process that the pain pills were affecting more than my ability to think, they were affecting my personality. Someone has said that I was fairly pliable and that I often succumbed to the wants of others without giving it much thought. I believe that's how it was, and I didn't do anything intentionally, but it feels good to be able to think for myself.

I'd like to share more of that thinking by blogging more often. I have no idea if anyone reads this, and it is a mute point because I like writing it. It is my hope that someone reads it and, if they don't find enjoyment out of it, at least they know not to come back. ;-) For, you see, Aubrey is back!