Three blogs in one?

I have three (or maybe four) blog posts to write about.  Wait, make that five.  Yes, five.  But I think I am going to separate them.  Otherwise, I will be exceptionally ramble-y.  Or boring, or annoying, or make no sense.  All of which are probable on each individual blog post, but I like to think that I sometimes make sense.  Ah well, we shall see.

I will start with the most heavy post, to scare away folks.  See, I'm uppity and only want nice people that can read my blog and not leave to read my blog.  I'm also really self-centered and want nice people around me generally.  It is just a thing.

Recently I have had several deep conversations with someone whom I love dearly.  To be frank, some of these conversations have been intense.  Let it be known that I don't think intensity is a bad thing at all; sometimes the only way that we realize something is up is through intense conversation(s).  I'm cool with intensity.  I'm also really happy with this one particular outcome: I am having new ways to analyze my own personality. 

I think we get complacent and don't stop to think about what is going on in our heads.  Or we get cocky, I'm not sure which.  Lazy perhaps.   In any case, I was definitely there, a combination of all three, facing a lifetime of not thinking.  These conversations really sparked something in me, and the self-examination has begun.

It is a work in progress.  Right now I'm really considering the idea of personality and how different personalities interact.  See, I'm a social person.  Some may call me chatty, extroverted, impulsive, speaks before thinking, passionate, annoying, random, and/or distractable.  And all of those are correct.  And I've been struggling through that.  Some of those attributes aren't terribly attractive.  If you come up to me and say "Hey, ya wanna _______?" I will say yes before I know what _______ is.  And that really can be hard for some people, my husband especially. 

But I've come to the realization that I don't want to change my personality.  I think it is pretty hardwired at this point, and while I can work on making some of it less obnoxious to others, I'm not willing to change it.  Secondly, I like it.  I like being outgoing, impulsive, chatty, random.  I don't like the attention I receive for those traits (often negative) but I like that I'm a bit 'different.'  It is very much part of my identity.  Finally, the way to change my personality is to mute the whole darn thing.  That isn't going to work either.  I like the passionate joy I feel, it comes with passionate sadness too, but I'm really ok with that.  It is part of the package and I'd rather have all of it than just the happy.  

The mixing of personalities is difficult.  My dear friend and former roommate has been patiently watching me babble for half our lives.  My husband realizes that I will both change conversation topics and start conversations in the middle most of the time.  My best friend now knows that I will pop in with questions about peas in the middle of something else, and if I'm asked to go out, I'm there.  But that's the awesome part, we all learn what makes each person tick and love them for it.  It is pretty amazing.  I love variety, and surrounding yourself with people different from you is a really, really good thing.

Hey, ya wanna go out?