Choice

I've been thinking a lot about women's right to choose her life path lately. Yes, in regard to reproduction, but also in general. I've been thinking about Third Wave Feminism and how I want to participate in this movement right now. Yes, Aubrey's noggin is movin' and a'groovin'.

This morning I woke up with a friend who's status mentioned the birthday of a little girl. It didn't name this girl, and I know this girl doesn't live with the friend. My friend made the brave and selfless decision to give this girl up for adoption at birth. My friend was a senior in high school.

My friend is so brave. She could've kept this baby, and I know part of her wanted to. Her boyfriend was a dill-weed and she couldn't rely on him. Her mom wanted her to keep the baby, adding conflict to the household. She wanted to do what was best for the baby. So a few weeks after her 18th birthday she made the adult decision to do what was best for this tiny baby rather than what felt right for her. I think that is amazing.

I've also known people who've made the other decision to keep the baby rather than give it up for adoption (or any other, earlier alternatives). One person used illegal drugs in the hopes the baby would miscarry - and the baby didn't. Others did their absolute best, and I know they're raising amazing children. But, here's the thing, it was her choice to keep this baby and raise her. That decision can't be made by anyone else. And we, as a society, need to respect those decisions.

I think about a woman's right to an abortion. I think that they will happen no matter what, that there are ways to lose a baby without a doctor's help (although admittedly riskier), and there will always be shady doctors willing to do it anyhow for the price. But, here's the thing...it is HER decision. She lives with the scars of whatever she decides and we as a society need to trust in her ability to make decisions. (Sidenote: we're willing to trust her to RAISE A CHILD but not make any other decision. That seems backward to me)

I am pro-choice. I can't imagine a situation in my life in which I would chose to have an abortion, but I was raised by two parents in an affluent household. Yes, I was with my fair share of boys that didn't give a fig about me. Still, if I had gotten pregnant, I would have been fine. More than fine. Baby and I would have both been taken care of. Now, if other babies joined our family, we would be able to take care of them. I'm not being abused, neglected. I'm blessed to have a body that is able to handle the physical demands of pregnancy. My circumstance isn't your circumstance. That's the part of the debate that seals the deal for me. I wouldn't get an abortion. I'm not you.

People sometimes ask, "But what about your daughter? Would you want her to have an abortion?!" First, I feel the same about both my children. If my son got his girlfriend pregnant, I would support her decision. And I would offer to provide support to Sebastian, girlfriend, and baby. And I would offer to provide support to Karma, boyfriend, and baby. But, it isn't my decision. I trust my children to make the most educated decision they can at the time. Really, isn't that all we can ask of them in any situation?